My walls, my burdin
by Shadzninja
Summary: I lost many things; my father, my pride, and maybe my name. My story of life is short because I'm only 19 years old, I'm still SO young. I lean on my brothers, Michelangelo and Donatello, to heal me physically and keep my sanity stably. I entrusted Raphael with my most destructive weakness, my mental self. One night, I question my choice for his role... (going to be a two-shot)


**A one-shot of pain and tragedy of brothers who can't seem to get their head around the idea of making up. Turtles don't belong to me!**

**Warnings: pain of characters, blood, mentions of hate and disgust, short brotherly love, and character death.**

My walls

_(Leonardo)_

I hate the way these walls seem to surround us,

Always pushing us into specific spots.

Do I hate why they were made,

No.

Do I hate how they were made to keep the innocent trapped?

Yes.

I am sure my love for my family could break these walls,

But my heart has too many holes to break solid concrete.

Why am I talking about walls?

Because a wall was what started this beating heart to break.

I could remember the words said to me by him,

His anger, his burden, his pain…

His hatred.

His glowing eyes darkening as his hands pound me into the ground.

I never felt betrayal like this.

His rock hard fist slamming my plastron and making it crack,

His stern foot making lower body bruises,

His sais cutting my body to make me bleed,

And his words to break my entire mind.

It was my words that started this,

I lectured you,

I made you listen and probably made you think you were useless.

That was not my intended point,

I only lecture to teach you in the way of the mind.

Do you think my point is to hurt you?

Well, you're as wrong as-

Oww!

Sorry,

The wound on my chest is building up a lot of blood.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah!

You're as wrong as Mikey is on science and technology.

I lecture to teach,

I lecture to inspire,

I lecture to identify,

I lecture so you know I still care.

It's not always easy being the older brother,

The brother always in pain,

The brother who has to bleed just so he knows he's still alive,

The brother who hates to see the tears gush your face,

The brother whose little brothers think it's funny to make you feel like a monster,

The brother failing to keep the eldest of the youngest in the lair,

The brother killing time cutting himself or drawing or writing his pain,

The brother dying from a wound.

If only you could see me now…

_Stomp, stomp, stomp…_

Fast footprints approach my laying place under the stars.

This old building I am in has a broken ceiling to see the stars and rubble all around… and walls.

_Stomp, stomp, stomp…_

I lie on my back and hold my hand harder against the wound on my chest…

_Stomp, stomp, gasp…_

You have found me… At least I hope…

My head is lifted up and my neck blazed with fiery and I groan…

I feel someone stuffing something in my wound and patching me up…

Then some blurry green hazes come into view and they say something…

"L…!"

"…eo?!"

"LE…! Spe…k to… us!"

I guess you want words from me…

Your wish is my command, as a brother…

"Guys," I think I slurred.

A red and green haze grabbed both my arms and… sobbed on my chest…

_Red… and green… Raphael…_

I brought my only good hand up, shakily, and held to Raph's shoulder… patting it in a way of comfort…

I see a sudden burst of stars and my body light up with fire from the inside…

It came from my face…

I look up to see, not Raphael, but a purple and green sobbing haze…

My tech genius, Donatello, had punched me…

Raph didn't let me go but he did question the genius.

Donnie said something that was a pretty good reason because Raphael let Don get in with the sobbing…

Mikey, where's Mikey?

I feel something under my neck, as I felt before, and looked up to see a green and orange blur crying and holding my head with his hands and rocking back and forth slowly in an act of comfort…

…

… *sigh*

…

My family…

I hate to see you go but I love to see you progress without me.

I hate to see you laugh without me but I hate it more when you laugh at me.

Now the only question is…

Am I ready to go?

_(Raphael)_

NO!

I can't see you go!

Your one of the precious things that makes my life bright!

I can't lose you like father!

I heard Don hit you when your face tilt and a cracking sound of joints being, randomly, put into place.

I was ticked he would do such a thing… he knew you were hurt…

"Why did you hurt him more?" I pushed my sobs down to pull a snarl.

"H-he left us, with a wo-wound like that. I was mad at him for do-doing this… Raph… I'm scared for him…" He wiped his eyes.

I can understand bro…

I open my arm to let him in and looked to Mikey.

Mikey held Leo's head on his lap and wouldn't let go.

He was flat out crying and rocking for comfort…

I'll comfort him later.

I pushed myself off and pried Leo from their grips.

If only they didn't look at me with those eyes…

But it had to be done.

I held him bridal style and turned for home…

Mike and Don had the same idea since they followed me with no waste.

I can't lose you!

Your one of the precious things that makes my life bright!

I can't lose you like father!

But…

It seems I might just need to be the new brother.

I hated you in my time of fiery…

I meant no true harm but seeing your face and wounds when I was done…

Made me hate myself.

I can't take this.

If you don't live to see tomorrow…

I might just go with you.

_(Donatello)_

My brother, my most trusted brother…

Was limp when laid on the medical cot of my lab.

I looked you up and down, seeing every mark Raph gave you and the fall you toke…

Your skin is just down right wreaked.

Raph, that brute…

That war machine…

That lunatic…

That barbarian…

Can't keep his emotions under control.

If Raph continued on this path, I might as well make this an asylum.

I sedate Leo, just in case.

I pull threw my own mind and pulled out a needle and a scalpel…

Leo…

I was close to touching his skin but I had happy flashbacks…

Memories I never want to get rid of.

I start crying and continue with my work.

If you died…

I am going to join you in bliss.

_(Michelangelo)_

I cry in my seat for the thousandth time…

Raph has definitely not comforted me…

I suppose he was trying to comfort himself from the way he way shaking and gripping at the chair handle.

I can't blame him…

He started it all.

I would punch him…

Hit him…

Smack him…

Yell at him…

Blame him…

SOMETHING…

Just as long as it was something.

It's been two days and Don hasn't reported at darn thing to us…

I thought we were bros, he should at least tell us about OUR brother…

At least if he stopped the blood…

Anything!

I was about to slap Raph…

When he opened that lab door…

He was crying…

With a smile.

He nodded his head and let out a small laugh…

We went to the door and heard the sound of the heart monitor beat steadily…

With Leo awake and looking at us.

He waved weakly and his arm fell fast obviously wanting rest.

But…

_(Don)_

Leo…

_(Raph)_

Was awake!

I promised to join you were ever you were…

So I ran to you and hugged the day lights out of you…

And Mike and Don joined.

But what made me realized you were truly there…

You hugged us back, alive and all…

**So… what you think? I made this when I was 10 and finished it now.**

**I really appreciate your reviews! They make me want to make more.**

**R & R, and stay cool!**


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